First Crush

 

First Crush

I remember a few things about my first crush. It was kindergarten and I remember thinking I was so cool because I could color in the lines much better than anyone else. I thought any boy would be lucky to be with me; I was the best of the best in everything I did. I was so cool.

I remember this one boy named Kaleb, and to be honest, I don’t remember what I saw in him. He was basically the nerd of the class; glasses, kind of ‘chunky’, no one liked him, he probably even smelled funny, I don’t recall. All I know is that I really did like him, I’m really unsure why, thinking back on it, it might have been a deep reason. Like, perhaps I knew that I was ‘better’ than him, so I knew he would look up to me and I would be his everything. I would become someone he needed and that’s all I wanted, to be important, because I never got that from my parents. So I looked for another source, I had to find someone inferior to me. That’s where Kaleb came in.

I do know that I really liked him, but instead of being nice to him, I bullied him. I suppose I took Shakespeare literally when he asked “Is love a tender thing? It is too rough, too rude, to bost’rous, and pricks like a thorn.” (1.4). I remember pushing him down and making him cry a lot. Always chasing him around and teasing him.

I’m pretty sure that everyday he dreaded coming to school because he hated me, I really made his life hell. I’m pretty sure he really hated me, but the only reason I acted so mean was because I really liked him. He never knew how I really felt. I just didn’t want my friends to know that I liked the loser of the class; I was much too cool for that.

Then one day, my friends began to grow suspicious of me, always spending recess pushing Kaleb around and chasing him. Taunting me “Megan and Kaleb sitting in a tree….” So I came up with this brilliant plan to show them just how much I ‘hated’ Kaleb. I decided I would do the worst possible thing I could. I was going to

 

You might call it a pursuasive letter…

 

Dear Madam:

 

I am writing you to explain why I need a digital camera. I would like to first educate you that I am an uprising artist. I would like to pursue a career in photography and in order to practice photography I would like a working camera that could help me improve my talents. In order to get this camera, I am turning to my you, my mother and provider.

 

And in this next paragraph, I’m going to explain to you why I can not get my own camera. Cameras cost money, and for a nice one, a lot of money. I do not have money. I am only fifteen and can not maintain my own source of income for that kind of thing. Also, you are my mother, my provider, and I do realize that a new camera is not a necessity, but it is something that I would really like and will be of value to me for a really long time. This new camera could be the gateway to a career path for me. Wouldn’t you like for me to find a good career that I enjoy and would like to pursue? As my mother, that is probably something you would be concerned about for me.

 

To add to that, not only would the camera be enjoyable for me, you might also enjoy the art that I can create by taking photos. I will always be your daughter and if I grow up to be a famous photographer, you would have connections, and I would have money. Money to repay you even. What’s better than being related to someone rich? Especially your own daughter! The photos I take would benefit to you…remembering family vacations and holidays and such.

 

And so, finally, you should buy me a brand new camera for not only my enjoyment, but also yours. Keep in mind that this camera could be the gateway to a great career path for me. It is really something that I would like to continue practicing and in order to do that, I really do need a new digital camera.

 

Sincerely,

 

 

 

 

Megan Jacobson

Stop to think

 

Stop to think(response paper 7)

Ever stop to consider why you choose to drink coke instead of pepsi, or why your favorite color is what it is? Ever try to analyze your decison making? Or do you just get a certain feeling with whatever it is that you are choosing? We may not understand why we feel a certain way for certain things, but we do know that we do. The answer is that we are constantly making unconcious decisions all day long. Coming to realize that we are not as in control of our decisions as we may have thought may make us lose our faith in ourselves that we make our decisions and choose what becomes of us. Don’t get me wrong, we do make our own decisions, the only problem is that we are not aware of why we make them. Which basically defies the whole decision making process.

According to neuroscientests, we are concious of only about 5% of our brain activity. So most of our decisions, actions, emotions, and behaviors depend on 95% of brain activity that go beyond our concious awareness. From our constant breathing to being able to walk around without smashing into things we rely on something called adaptive unconscious, which is all the ways that our brain understands the world that the mind and the body must negotiate. The adaptive unconscious makes it possible for us to, say, turn our car around a corner without having to go through calculations to determine the exact angle of the turn. It makes it possible for us to hear statements like “the children make nourishing snacks” without us believing that they mean we would like to eat the children.

Everything that we do think, is in fact deeper than they may seem. Gerald Zaltman, an emeritus professor from Harvard business school, conducted a study to have participants cut out images that represent their thoughts and feelings on a certain subject even if they could not explain why. He discovered that people usually have a deep meaning or metaphor in each of the images that they are drawn to. He had people randomly select of draw pictures and then interview them about the thoughts and feelings that those pictures triggered.

Another trigger to different thoughts and feelings is related to smell. For example, a dog that you have seen before may come up and sniff you, if he remembers you and you were a nice person, then he may begin to wag his tail or lick your wrist. If her remembers you, and you were not nice he may run away and avoid you. The dog gets images from things he remembers about you maybe associated with food or a swift kick, depending on his experiences with you. All of these images and memories are triggered by a small whiff.

 

Andreana At Large…

 

Andreana At Large…(response paper 6)

Once upon a time there was a hero that was the best there ever was he was brave heroic and…. A girl! Thats the best kind of story the one that is about a girl. Well this girl was something different from when she was born to the time she died and the thing about it that was so strange is that she had no mom or dad they say she was from the gods. She was really from a city across the sea a city of magic this city was ruled by the evil queen titan and sent the girl away. But many years later she was called to war and off she set to go but before I get to that lets get to some different things like what her powers were well thats the strange thing the village never knew one day she was in control of the water the next the air so they set out to put her in the army then she was sent to war.

She went to war against the Orients they were big bad and wanted to take over the land the thing was she was captured and taken to there home land and when they asked her what her name was she replied Andreana and they said she was to be given to the god of the volcano.

Andreana was very frightened and did not want to be thrown into the volcano as a sacrifice to the God of the volcano, Spewdius. Andreana was young, and did not yet know how to control her powers very well. Her powers seemed to come only when she was very angry. Other wise, she would have heated that mountain to the point of vaporization with her power to control the earth, fire, water, and wind.

Two guards came and took Andreana up the side of the volcano where the men, women, and children of the village were all standing around to watch. Andreana struggled against the guards, but could not break free. She began to cry as they drew closer to the volcanoes firey mouth.

When they reached the opening, there was another guard standing there. Andreana looked at him and her weeping softened, she recognized this man, although she was sure she had never seen him before, because she would have remember a man like this. He was odd looking, he had a gold metal symbol plated onto his forehead, the symbol looked like one that ancient Egyptian Gods wore in the hieroglyphics and his eyes glowed yellow. His weapon was an odd looking staff that looked like a snake with an opened mouth at the tip. He looked back at her and also thought that she seemed familiar.

The two guards were about to say a prayer of sacrifice to Spewdius, God of all volcanoes when Andreana cried out, “You sir!” she pointed at the strange, familiar guard. “that mysterious staff you have in your hand is much more powerful than any of those that these men have, you are not from this world. You have power. You can help me.”

The guard replied “Many people before you have thought that they could beat these men and pleaded for my help, but you, I believe.” He aimed his staff at one of the guards holding Andreana and a firey blast hit him and knocked him back 9 feet down the mountain side. Then he throw his staff to Andreana and she fired at the other guard who was hit and throw by the blast into the volcano.

The villagers all began screaming and running back down the mountain towards the safety of their homes. Andreana watched them run from her and then turned back to the guard. “thank you,” she said “you are a brave warrior, what is your name?”

“I am not a warrior,” he replied “I am a prisoner to the Orients, forced to serve as their most valuable guard. My name is Jafark. I was brain washed into thinking they were my lords, but when I heard you speak I remembered my past and that I am not of this world. I am from Arietes. Our God is Rarjik

Educational Decisions

 

Educational Decisions(timed writing)

Changing the school week to last only four days has its advantages and disadvantages. Lets begin with the disadvantages; first of all, school would last an hour and fifteen minutes longer each day which may require you to change your schedule with things such as work after school, piano lessons, sports practice, etc. Also, you would spend the majority of your day at school, thus, not allowing us to participate in all of the activities we’d normally like to do and still get to bed at a decent time.

There are far more advantages to the four day week then there are disadvantages. The biggest one would include the fact that since East Hollywood High School is not part of a district and does not have the funding for school buses, it is sometimes hard for us to get to EHHS everyday since anyone in the valley can attend and a lot of us live pretty far. Any shortening of the days that we have to find a way here would probably help. We would still be getting the same amount of time in school, but we would only be attending four days.

Another “advantage” to only attending four days would be the three day weekend! I’m sure many others would agree that coming to school four days and not coming for three, would definitely even things out and perhaps make school a little less tedious when we know that each week we get three days to relax instead of the normal two. It would be exciting.

In my opinion, the four day week sounds like a really good idea. Although, some may not agree. Since the decision can be good or bad maybe to help determine if we should make this change or not we could conduct a poll and let every student vote. Knowing what the majority of the students want would probably help decide what would be best, still keeping in mind how it could help or not help. We could always try it for a little while and see what happens. If it does not work out, we could always just go back to our usual five day school week. I don’t see the harm in trying it.

In conclusion, the four day school week seems like a good idea, and I think its worth a shot. It would be extremely helpful, for me personally, to only have to find a ride here for four days. It would sure save a lot of gas, and I would still be getting the same amount of education! What a fantastic idea!

Everyday Heroes

Everyday Heroes(response paper 5)

Maybe as you were a little kid, you fantasized yourself as a super hero and ran around the house with a towel tied around your neck pretending to fly. You imagined yourself with huge muscles, kicking bad guys butts and saving damsels in distress. You might wonder what the world would be like if it were filled with super heroes like the comic books. Well even though you don’t realize it, the world is in fact, filled with every day heroes.

If you were to imagine the perfect hero, what would their characteristics be? They would be brave, devoted, bold, quick thinking, noble, daring, gallant etc. When I look at the world around me today, I see a lot of people who fit that description: fire fighters, who run into flaming buildings to save your little brother, or the family dog. Police officers, who risk their lives daily to keep your town safe and bring criminals to justice. Doctors, who do anything necessary to keep your aunt living after a terrible accident, or your mother who is fighting cancer. Teachers, who open our minds to different ideas and concepts everyday, who prepare us for a successful life, and motivate us to reach our potential.

Odysseus is truly a hero, he is a brave and devoted man who is willing to do anything necessary to stand up for what he knows is right. Some things that Odysseus have done might not be considered heroic in the minds of some, because they are not moral, like enslaving women and killing armies of men, but theses acts of what seems evil, only proves Odysseus’ true devotion to take act upon what is right to him.

In my life, I see heroes everyday. My heroes are my friends. They show me that they care about me a ton and persuade me to do what is right when I am in a bad situation. When I was younger I felt neglected by friends because I did not get the kind of attention I wanted, but now when I am feeling down about it, my friends will ask me whats wrong, talk to me about it, and encourage me to realize what great friends I actually have. I suppose I am more open minded to the idea of heroic figures, because I accept a lot of people as heroes in the world, but I don’t believe that someone needs unrealistic powers and the ability to fly to be a hero.

New Year Brings New Beginnings?

New Year Bring New Beginnings?(response paper 4)

I would have to say my biggest problem in 2007 was thinking of things too deeply. I would always examine everything and want everything to mean something. In doing this, it would usually end up in disappointment, which inevitably depressed me. A solution to this problem would be to try to think of things simply, or if that didn’t work, to keep myself content so my mind would not wander.

A huge factor in my over thinking occurred when I was younger, I felt neglected by my family and friends and I was always wanting more attention, which I never got. So, I convinced myself that I was not wanted by anyone, and I tried to think of logical explanations of why no one would choose me as their first priority. I wanted everything that anyone said or did to mean something significant, and for a while I really thought it did, but recently I realized that the only reason people say or do anything is to impress someone. People are just egomaniacs. Everything anyone does is for popularity or money, in some way. So this made me become depressed. Something I could do to help overcome this problem would be to just realize that I am not going to be first choice for anyone because everyone just puts themselves first, even if they think that they’re generous or something, the only reason they’re doing something good, like giving to charity or something, is to make them feel better about themselves or prove their worthiness to someone so they can have a better life. Everything you do, contributes to yourself in some way. As soon as I realize and accept this, I will not have to worry about peoples thoughts about me, and perhaps it will make me feel better.

Another, not so huge factor would be that I unfortunately have a loathing for every person on this world. It’s not like I’m a completely bitter person, I just hate how everyone is so caught up in themselves. Everyone is so selfish, even me. I can’t get over that, how selfish and greedy people are. It makes me sick just thinking about it. To help myself get over this would be to basically just get over myself, just try to change myself and just try to help other people with their problems. I will try my hardest to not be self involved because I can change myself, but I cannot change the world, although I really wish I could.

This New Year’s resolution paper is just about the saddest resolution I’ve ever seen. I guess I just can’t write anything production in this subject because I hate the new year, its so depressing how everyone celebrates a new year of doing the same things over and over again. Its so tedious and sickening. People always try to change, but they never do. They think they do, but they don’t. They really don’t.

Why Ban Catcher?

Why Ban Catcher?(response paper 3)

I think that The Catcher in the Rye should be allowed to be taught in schools. It might not be the best language wise, but it presents reality the way it really is. Holden Caulfield is a troubled teen age boy that the readers come to know and feel sorry for through out the book. He tells detail by detail events that lead to his breakdown. He has a difficult time with almost every situation that he is in. In the story, Holden is rude to people around him, but he always feels sorry after words and wants to be redeemed. It displays his learning and growing process of becoming a better person.

An in particular group of people that might be offended by this book is women in general because Holden often calls women stupid or dumb, but to make up for it he never uses them as toys as so many men do. For example, when he sees the prostitute woman he does not want to use her, he actually feels bad for her. When he sees his roommate Stradlater seducing women he feels sorry for them and the readers know that Holden would never do anything of that sort to a woman, and he respects them.

The Catcher in the rye can really open your eyes up to the things happening around you. Someone might feel that everything is peachy keen, and try to cover up how they really feel, like so many people do. After reading the book you see the truth, they accept that life can be bad, but you can always get back up and get help from other people.

The book, The Catcher in the Rye is a book that presents reality to all of its readers. It can enable the reader to have a better understand of the harsh society around them and it can have a strong impact on them. It is also a good book that the teen aged readers can relate to, and we all need a book that we can relate to, because it makes us feel better about ourselves and helps us take a deeper look at the world around us. Some things that teenagers can relate to in this story is how Holden is developing a nervous breakdown, the unexplained depression and the generally odd, erratic behavior.

The book begins to make us think about the societies attitude of the human condition. Does society have a deliberate ignorance of the emptiness that can characterize human existence? Is Holden the one going insane or is society failing to see the hopelessness of our own lives?

Holdens Day At Central Park

Holdens Day At Central Park(response paper 2)

This weekend I decided to go down to Central Park since I had nothing better to do with my crummy life. When I got there I toyed with the idea of feeding the ducks in the pond bread, but I didn’t want to, plus I didn’t have bread anyway so I just sat on a bench near the pond and watched them.

After a while this old man that looked like he was either a bum, or just didn’t own a shower or spare clothes came and sat on the grass on the other side of the pond. He kept pulling the grass out one strand at a time and putting them in a little stack out on the side walk, and he wouldn’t just pull out the grass that was close to the sidewalk, he would walk about 20 feet away and pick one strand then walk clear back, he looked like a mad man walking back and fourth like that.

Every time someone walked by he would say hello and ask how there day has been. Most people would just ignore him, but he didn’t mind, he was the kind of guy that just liked to talk to people, even if the didn’t always talk back, I was surprised he didn’t just talk to himself.

Once a little kid walked by and the man asked him how he was and all and the little kid ran up and kicked over his pile of grass, I mean he didn’t even say a word, just ran right up and kicked it over, just like that. That kid was a moron. I kind of felt bad for the old bum, but he didn’t seem to mind that his pile was ruined or anything, he just fumbled over and started picking grass one by one again. He had to of been a mad man, if it were me I would of chased that kid and spit on his face or something.

After a while I got a little hungry. I decided to go walk around and see if there was a sandwich shop or something, besides I was bored of watching the old man walk back and fourth anyway. Finally I found a little place called Dines Diner. What a clever name, I thought. I decided to sit in a small table over in the corner near the window.

The food there looked like it had come out of the back end of an elephant, so I decided to just order a glass of water, I figured that would hold me until I got back to the dorms. I saw a man standing by the door. He just stood there staring outside. I wondered what he was doing, so I just watched him for a while. When a person came up to the door, he would open it for them. He kept doing this for everyone. I wondered if it was his job or something so I got up and went over to the door. He was about to open it for me, but I said “what a peculiar job you have, sir” real suave like.

He kind laughed and then said “ this isn’t my job, I just don’t have anything better to do I guess.” then he opened the door for me and I walked out. He must have had a pretty crummy life too, if he doesn’t have anything better to then open doors for morons all day. He was crazy man, I could you tell that much.

Nature is Prodigious

Nature is Prodigious(response paper 7)

Andy Goldsworthy’s art really amazed me. I can really imagine the feelings he has while creating and finishing his art. It seems to me that he has a bit of an obsession with creating holes and objects that look like meandering rivers. I imagine that the holes in his creations makes him feel as if he is being drawn into it, as if being pulled into another world full of mystery. He doesn’t create his art with the intension of fame and wealth, he creates them as gifts to nature and it makes him feel extremely good about himself. I admire his sense of thought. I fill with wonder when I try to imagine the feelings he has for nature and more precisely, water. I like to imagine that when his art is pulled away by the sea, he is giving it to the sea and is at one with the sea. It might be almost a spiritual experience.

I cannot relate to Andy very well, but I believe I do partially understand why he creates this art and how it makes him feel. I sometimes wish I could be filled with the inspiration and motivation that Andy has with his creations. When Andy creates things out of stone it reminds me of a time when my sister and I tried to build a sculpture of a rabbit made of stone, it didn’t work out very well, and it collapsed three times before we gave up. Although, we were doing it just out of boredom, when I think back on it, it was rather similar to what Andy did and how his creation kept collapsing, but he never gave up like we did.

In conclusion, the way Andy goes about doing his art really intrigues me and makes me think deeper about nature and how I perceive the world around me. When I look at Andy’s completed art I am not only amazed, I also feel compelled to create an artwork of my own, or maybe just a drawing imitating the beauty of nature, or even writing a paper about it.